I truly don't know where to begin. We had our first formal training this morning. We were invited to one of the leaders homes and made to feel completely welcome. A sweet soft sell to becon us to the area was heard. Not a bad neighborhood with President Uchdorff, some of the twelve and seventies living in a quiet area and very homey neighborhood, but out of our budget I'm sure. To our dear friends and family not of our faith, this would be a congregation of the 'who's who' in the Mormon world, without the arrogancy or pride you would expect from a leadership group. One of the strongest messages came through when I heard them say we are paving the way for our immediate children as they too will have opportunity to serve as leaders in the world. How easy that was to understand, for I must say I honestly feel they are all so much more qalified, confident and capable than am I feeling, but as Brig quotes...'The Lord will qualify us.'
We've been reminded now a few times to share our story and will be doing so this Sunday as we have been offered a farewell opportunity to speak. I pray the spirit will testify and help us to feel what we did in Fishers with President Kinard, one of the few times in my life I felt the spirit of my Savior and loved ones so strong.
Our story:
Earlier this year I casually mentioned to Jeff I was putting in my papers to serve another LOCAL mission, and asked if he wanted to serve again with me. He said he would like us to fast and pray about it, I thought that an odd request but could see no harm, so I agreed. (Note this wasn't done reluctantly...yet!)
The following week after fasting and praying, I asked Jeff again, '..well I feel the same way, I'm putting in my papers and would you like to join me in serving another mission here?'
His response was as one woud expect, kind of... 'Yes, but just not the end part of that sentence'.
This took a second but I now got it, the 'here' is what he AGAIN was going to challenge me with. For those of you who may not know, I love my house, my bed, my friends and I HATE change! Quickly, I began with the most logical arguments for the 'here'; his team of doctors I trusted, his health, my lack of desire to go anywhere but here,...you get the picture.
He then was without question inspired as he said, 'Let's fast and pray about it again and just see.' Now I knew my desires were good and I'd already spoken to the gentleman I'd worked with on our last two missions and he was happy and ready to have us back so what was one more week to get Jeff on board?
At the end of that week, again we both felt pretty strong in our own perspectives, and right before I was going to use the gold card to say this was one of 2 or 3 times in our marriage I just needed him to support me, he said casually, 'let's leave it up to the Lord'. Yes, that was the ticket! I had a 6 year plan. In 6 years our home would be paid off and we'd begin living our dream. I implemented this plan and was on track in preparing myself to be ready to serve a full time mission
within the states, the Lord knew of my plan and I'd been keeping up my side of the bargain beautifully:
- 100,000 names indexed
- Reading the complete Book of Mormon each month for a year
- Gain expertise in books of Isiaih and Revelations-tutored by RuthEllen Homer-a genious in the scriptures
- Memorize 'Preach My Gospel'- a wonderful book about missionary work, anyway you get the picture
The day we were to go into the bishop for an interview Jeff had to work, I promised I'd give him both our perspectives and we'd see. The interview went fine but certainly nothing definitive, just as I'd expected. Nice. He'd asked us to do the physicals and dental work and then meet with the stake president. With my OCD, we had those all those appointments done within a week.
We had a large meeting called Stake Conference, where multiple congregations meet with the Stake President who presides and typically speaks. Jeff wasn't feeling well and was struggling that day,so I went alone.
After the meeting I approached the Stake President and asked if the bishop had contacted him about meeting with us? I said
nothing about a mission - here or anywhere. This man looked directly into my eyes and I felt like he could see into my heart and just uttered the words, 'What are you going to do with your practice?" Now I knew this man was inspired and I have the utmost respect for him but this threw me! My response was even more shocking. You see, when you deal in crisis management and work with people who sometimes share things that shock you, you're job is to remain calm and respond without elevated emotions. I am very good at this part of my job. I responded by stating, 'Well I suppose I will close it'. He didn't look shocked or surprised but just shared his genuine joy and instructed me to get an appointment made with the executive secreatary. I quickly left the church, drove home and had a melt down like nothing I'd ever experienced. I cried and then thought of my daughter who often shares with me she and the Lord are fighting and decisions are still out. She always gives in to His counsel but now I was not happy. I think I've only fought and yelled a few times in my life with the Lord, I grew up not thinking it respectful to argue or fight with your Father, but at this moment I didn't care. I worked myself up to such a state I could barely breath.
I spoke a few minutes to a dear friend who promptly said in no uncertain terms it wasn't about me and to get on with things-(interesting tactic Rich).
After, I found myself still sobbing on my couch and fighting with the Lord about how this was one thing I didn't think I was capable of doing, then Jeff woke and came down stairs. He was shocked and worried as he saw me falling apart in a real sense. He asked if I'd like a blessing, which is a special prayer he offers as one holding the priesthood, acting not of himself but of the Lord. In this blessing he shared with me very sacred and solemn things only the Lord knew that immediately gave me comfort and knowledge all would be well. As soon as he closed the blessing I was fine and he was hurting for me, holding me and stating we could serve a mission in Fishers and we didn't need to leave. I coudn't believe it, he just blessed me to know things that put me at ease and his heart was bent toward supporting me and making things well. I reminded him of what he Lord had just told us and thus the adventure began.
After interviews and going to Utah I realized that going out of the states was a huge possiblity but in my heart I figured we'd end up, especially after sending in Jeff's medicl stuff, getting called to serve in Utah and could see the kids at night and on all holidays! The call came and we were called to the Philippines. I can't say we hadn't had discussions about this and that it was a huge possiblity but in the back of my mind I really did think Jeff's health and our personal finances would NOT allow us to leave this county. Never have I seen my husband so thrilled and happy. How grateful I am to serve the Lord and thus, as for me and my house, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD whereever He calls us, let the dream we've talked of for 30 years begin...
